I wouldn't say I have been blogging for the past two years since I came here. Those erratic, off-the-whim, sometimes out of compulsion, sometimes out of guilt posts that I have put over the last two years, are but a mere shadow of what I had earlier. They do not have the burning desire to do something awesome, that fueled the posts before.
And the reason is simple. For the first time in my life, I lived. I don't mean to say I haven't lived before. I have been truly blessed, with a full, beautiful life, and am endlessly grateful for all that I have. But the last two years here, I spent less time documenting, and more of it, doing things. Yes, I had patches of laziness, indolence, and pure ennui. And then there were patches of intense exploration, of media that were new, unfamiliar, and exciting to me.
That each of them was a wide chasm of possibilities, possibilities of expression, possibilities of creating something beautiful.
Okay let me be more specific here. I have always loved photography. Which is why I started this blog, by the way. Fashion is a natural extension to who I am, and the idea of a personal transformation, creating beautiful visuals with myself in the picture with the right aesthetic, excited me beyond anything else. It was more of a journey, into who I could become, with the right mix of clothes, accessories, vibe, backgrounds, and photography/editing style. I'm not sure if I would have been as happy styling somebody else for a shoot, but probably, yes.
Creating beautiful visuals, 'fashion photography', as some may say, inspires me. But me being a part of it, with my limitations, with my own true self, added a whole new dimension to the process.
I am not a fashion student. I am not a fashionista, even. But if I have to call myself one, to reach out to those 90,000 viewers who graced this page with their visit, I will.
I do not like to label myself. I may make a film at one instant, and a beautiful sketch that I take pleasure in, the second. I might take a picture that inspires someone, or write a poem that manages to penetrate somebody's senses. All I can say is that whatever I do, I would try to give my all to it. And that is regretfully, not something I have done on this blog for the past two years.
I cannot be certain where this is leading me. But one thing is sure. I will always keep writing here. Sort of like a journal. Sometimes deep, sometimes joyful, and sometimes superficial. But here.
Changes are on the horizon. But I will make the best of them. And this is the place that I will come to, and commit to, when I feel the need to share.
PS: I'm writing after long, and have so much to say, Forgive the over-eloquence.
Okay, I will now talk about the things that
I did learn, over the past two years.
(Just a little background: I spent these years in a design school, for a master's programme, learning thought and craft of Visual Communication.)
12 Things I learnt in 2 Years
2. To sing. to sing loud, to sing for happiness. To sing on stage. And to know that its okay to screw up in front of an audience.
3. To dance. Something I haven't done, all my life. Not on stage, though. But among friends.
4. To let go, to be free.
5. To love. The passionate, true and committed love. And what joy it can bring.
6. To speak my mind.
7. To know whom to call friends. And to know that they are important.
8. To work hard. In fact, to know that its absolutely necessary to do so.
9. To smile. Smile wide.
10. To say no.
11. To look at people in the eye.
12. To be determined. And to pull things through.
That said, there is a long way to go. All I ask for is the strength and enthusiasm to keep going. And whatever follows, I shall take it gratefully.
Love, always.
Shubhi.
